We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
