Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
