Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
