im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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