Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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