As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
