yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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