You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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