Only a mothe r could love this liver
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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