Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
only if we run a train.
done.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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