Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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