I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
