Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
