I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
