no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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