I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Send help, water and tortillas.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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