He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
