So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
