Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
