i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
