guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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