We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
