gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
