Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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