I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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