You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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