I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
