Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize