My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
