Whatcha textin bout Willis?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
