My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
