I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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