I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
