if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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