what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
