So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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