we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
