I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
