we have pet lesbian snakes
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Can vaginas get frostbite?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Randomize
