need another drink. this is the easiest way
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
