i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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