does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
