no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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