I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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