is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
