The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
