just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
