i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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