I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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