just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I stole a fireplace last night.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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