period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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