I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
